Being Sociable

After working all day with people, I often want to lock myself in my apartment for a long while. I like people just fine but I get overloaded sometimes.

Apparently not recently though. This weekend I have gone to a friend's farewell party on Friday and have just come back from a cookout tonight. Both events were quite lovely. Outside of the truly great company at both events, they also had small experiences that made them truly memorable.

On my way to and from the farewell party, I got completely lost. At one point, I passed two cars that were pulled over. It appeared that one had pulled over to help the other. I felt a twinge of guilt the first time I passed. The guilt had increased the second time I passed. I felt that had I passed it a third time, I would have just had to have stopped : ) I am glad I got lost though. It did help me not be so lost on the way home.

The memorable part of the second sociable gathering was again on the way home. I had just turned onto the street that would take me almost the whole way home when I realized that I had picked up a passenger. A lizard was peeking at me on the dash. He must been holding on pretty well. He made it up to 25-30 miles an hour. Eventually he made this amazing leap of faith off the side. I really hope he made it safely home. I know I am glad I did. For a couple of minutes, I tossed around the idea of driving to visit P. but I wasn't sure of her work schedule.

Occassionally I like to run away from home. It helps to curb the urge to travel all the time. But this weekend is not a good one to be out and about. Too many people out partying and not very responsibly.

So good night and in the words of those three wise men "You've got fight for your right to party"

Forget regret. All life is yours to miss

As I have been just listening to Rent in ze car, I am once again putting it in the title. This will have to be a short note as it is rather late. It is hard to keep up with a daily entry. I usually end up running out of time.

Well, my compromise of just going to the baptism was thrown out of the window. Somehow I got massively lost (who knew there were so many streets named Baymeadows) and it began to rain not just cats and dogs but lions and tigers too... I missed the actual baptism but I made it for the party. I was surrounded by SJC librarians and some DC librarians. It was pretty good. Julia (the baby) was cute as most babies are.

Between the party and today's meeting, I learned that a number of librarians are leaving. Most are moving onto different jobs. I am thinking of going to another farewell party on Friday. Librarians are the worst for gossiping I think. You would think not because of the whole training we have about trusting your sources.... but no, the absolute worst : P But then we are also the weirdest bunch of people. It is like a cross between computer geeks, teachers and complete bookworms.

Of all the people who have left since I started, I miss Marlan the most. LOL A complete and utter character but exceedingly loveable. He was one of the few that I hung out with outside of work. A very good friend and so good at proding me out of my norm.

The clock should be dinging in mere moments and back into a pumpkin go I. I'll try and remember to fill you in on winnings tomorrow.

Good night and hope Atlanta is working out for you, Marlan the Magnificent

525,600 Minutes

Yes, I watched Rent last night. I like to watch musicals. Especially on DVD since I can find the songs I like to sing along with faster. I've got "Seasons of Love" almost down. Just a couple more tries until I could take it to Broadway.

I've always loved to sing. Mostly of the time it is to myself. I am still in the search for a good church choir to join. I miss it but it is hard to find an episcopal church that sings both traditional and contemporary. At least , as best I can tell, here in Jax.

There are a couple of other requirements for good church. But until I find them, I'll just have to have church in my car. Lots of singing and prayer going on there.

Today's prayer/think was about friends. I get so caught up with work and stuff that I have become a bad friend. I'm about to be even worse. I am peopled out and I am supposed to go to a friend's daughter's baptistism and party tomorrow. My current plan is to tell her that I will come see her on my next Friday or Saturday off.

Right now I feel like today is a day for covers. I'm ready to throw them back over my head. Mainly just tired and cranky and un-peoplely.

Good day and Lord, create in me a clean heart and renew a right spirit within me. It fits.

The Appeal of Other Beds

No, it's not what you are thinking... I had trainingplanned for today. It was a middle management class. It was being given at a Holiday Inn just down the way. So I had the brillant idea of getting a room for the night. It appealed to me as a break from the ordinary. But I couldn't decide whether to do it or not. Occassionally I am as wishy-washy as Charlie Brown on his worst day. So after much debate with myself, I decided to do it. They had cable, a bigger bed and bath and I wouldn't have to clean the mess up after I made it (though usually I am not that big of a mess maker).

Overall it was a good night. A big bonus was getting to sleep in until just before the training started. Though my night started off with a laugh. I could have swore that the desk clerk told me 435 was the room number. So I parked as close as I could. I was perfection in the parking which should have clued me off that something was up. I get out, get my stuff and head up stairs. I slide my keycard in and no green light. I am about to do it again while mentally cursing the hotel business since I am so far from the front desk. It was at that point that I realize that there is stuff in the window. Okay I am not trying to get into my room... I was now trying to get into someone else's room. My room number was 453 and I can only imagine what the person in the room thought. I had checked in after 9 PM and the room was dark. I really hope that they were out and not shivering in the dark while someone was trying to get into their Holiday Inn room.

The training was very good. I wish someone had gone over management more when I was taking my classes for elementary education or in library school. They really need a permenant person just to teach these things and teach them well. Though supervising staff and supervising kids, you do run into the same situations. I don't feel as woefully unprepared as I did teaching.

That was a bad experience. I had no idea on how to ask for help and the person supervising me just took over my class. It got to be so bad that I couldn't talk about work without crying. I feel a lot stronger now. It is weird but now I think of it as a good thing. It was the push I needed to get out of the profession and into something that I truly love. I still get to work with kids but it is a whole difference atmosphere.

Well, the kittums are pestering me for loving (as I took off last night) and my pillows are calling...

Good night and may the job you do and the one you want be one and the same.

Death, peace and Hello Kitty

When I take time off from writing my blog, there seems to be an extraordinary amount of things I ponder. The title is just a listing of a few.

Okay so peace was Friday night's topic before sleep. It was one of those just starting to drift off Pull -Me -Backers. I was debating on whether peace was an actual obtainable goal. Do we as humans have it in us to be at peace with one another? In the song, peace is supposed to begin with me. Am I peaceful? I think so. If you were to ask me right now, "Do you hate or wish to do harm to anyone?" My answer would be No. But is that peace? Does peace mean no fighting or is it something more? And I wonder why I have trouble sleeping sometimes... And sleep overruled as I never did finish the discussion with myself.

Death came up yesterday at Mom & Dad 's. I had gone over to do laundry. Being as it had been at least weeks since I did it last, I ended up standing for dinner (Mom, Grandmother did get the flowers). We had been talking about HMOs and I, as usual, was interjecting my own spin on Luke's message. Somehow from that we got on death & who gets to make the decisions. Mom emphatically told me that Dad would be calling the shots and vice versa.

It was one of those weird thoughtful times where you want to listen and cry all at the same time. For me, it was what I expected especially as Dad knows her mind most and she knows his. I am even not too concerned with if we bury or what happens to the body. Dad said something about dumpster and Wendy's for himself. I know it won't matter as it is just the cocoon left behind. The spirit will be with Jesus and the memories will be with me. Now before you start thinking I will going the Mendendez route... don't worry. I love my parents and I want to be around for quite some time but I also understand the natural progression of life. So we are born, so we die. We have such an odd handle on death in this country. I remember when Mom and Dad asked us to make a list of things we might want of theirs after they die, I started on it right away. My siblings thought I was being morbid. I didn't see it as that. It was a request, I like making lists and it wasn't like I handed in the list and asked them to die right now.

So from Goodbye Life to Hello Kitty... my mind works in mysterious ways. That was one of last night's thinks before bed. One of the stickers on my car is of Hello Kitty and Mimi. Somehow in thinking of that, I got on this whole balance of life kick. Which actually tied into my other topics quite nicely as they are also other sides of the balance... life death, war peace... Too much on either side changes things and skews your vision. I guess it ties into everything in moderation. I am bad at being balanced at some things. I tend to get too much of things until I don't want it any more. Too much junk food, too much sleeping, too much being alone. I need to work on that.

I did do a little more work on the international job thing. I finished my resume submission for one part of the DOD. There is a position in Germany. Though I do need to do a bit more research. I think I messed up one part. So onto research...

Good day and bring on the rain but keep the hurricane away....

Critters have feelings too

Ah, leftover song bits from Hoodwinked. I like stories that make you see it from another point of view. My current point of view should be dark as in eyes closed. . . How I could be tired is beyond me.

But here I sit, Mondo tired. Knew I should have left the house nice and messy the way it was. But no. I had to clean the kitchen last night.

It is always the last few hours of work that are the hardest.

Good day and the person who makes naps mandatory is the one who gets my vote this year.

Math Makes you crazy

This fact was learned by watching A Beautiful Mind and soon to be watching Proof as well as how insane I get just trying to add up things in my check book. I must be going crazy since I can't have negative numbers in my checkbook.

Actually hasn't been negative for quite a while. I have been working at it and doing everything automatically has helped. I wish I could do a couple of other things on automatic. Walking, going to sleep on time, etc.

After a much lauded lazy weekend, I am happy to report that it hasn't leaked over into the week. I have been busy at work setting up entertainment for the branch birthday party in July. Thus far I've got a maybe from the Tae Kwon Do and jugglers and left messages with the storytellers, SCA, and dulchimers. If I can get all of them I think it will turn out to be a good day. I still need to call in the clowns... Well maybe next year : P

But for the rest of the event, I plan on delegating. (Insert evil laughter and music here)

Plus today, my desk is almost clean. I know, I know... hold your applause... It is the ever-present to do on my to do list. Don't worry though. By tomorrow it will be as if it never was.

Good day and put the integers down nice and slow and nobody'll get hurt.

And the winner for the laziest weekend goes to.... (drumroll)

Yes, this weekednd was a shoo-in for this event. I am almost positive I have slept more than 24 hours in the last two days. It had also looked as if this would also be the least productive weekend but for today.

I spent the time after finally waking up cleaning house. I got the living room and dining room done. Only four more rooms to go. I would have done more today but there was quite an accumulation of cleaning to do. I tend to mainly focus on relaxing when I get home from work each day. I've got it on my schedule to do a room a day but it is harder to stick to than honey.

I also got some actual library work done. I didn't log onto the network though. I am not sure about the internet that I have seeing as I have no idea exactly how I am logged on. I brought the laptop home to work on schedules this weekend so that they would be done for the month. Just as a lark, I tried to connect to the wireless networks that were found. Well, I actually connected and I am not really sure how. I didn't have to sign in. After researching it a bit, I am still not sure.

Maybe I should just chalk it up to Internet manna : P

Good day and don't look a gift horse in the mouth... it's liable to spit on you : )

Even, I'm Odd...

Well, chickadees, it is that time of year when a young lady's thought turn to ..... a)mush, b)travel or c)the lastest cricket scores.

It's a trick question. My mind is always mush, there isn't a day yet that I don't wish to just keep going to somewhere else and I have yet to finish my reading of The History of Cricket and Cricket: techniques, tactics and training. It is like learning a whole new language.

But I do like learning new things. And going to new places hence the whole travel reference. But where? By tomorrow I should have about a week and a half saved up of travel time. I probably won't be able to fit it into June. I know, I know... only the first day and it is already mostly booked. But July seems like a good time as ever to go. Plus I get my raise as of July 16th. A whole 5% more. Yay! Must ponder this some more. I'd like it to be out of state. Hmmm.... I'll be out of state and out of my mind : P

Speaking of new languages, I plan on brushing up on my French. I got a couple of CDs for the car to practice. Hey, I thought what better time. I normally sing in my car but I can make an exception. Je chante dans mon auto normalment... maybe I should pop one in this afternoon so I might be able to finish that thought in French : )

Nothing more on the UN position. The position doesn't close until mid July anyway. Though being the positive person I am, I expected them to read mine and just close out the rest. I understand that they have to give everyone a fair shot at my job... : P

Good day and Bonjour!

A little nonsense now and then, is cherished by the wisest men.

Oh but Dahl knew it all. I will still be reading his books when I am ninety.

Let's see who do you like to read over again. I reread Koontz and King but I have to be in the right mind set. Or I loved rereading the Anne of Green Gables books. Or The Little Princess. It is interesting to read something that was written so long ago but still has revelant even now. I have a hard time actually doing the reading though. I have gotten so used to skimming quickly. To stop myself, ocassionally, I will read aloud to myself.

My own personal audiobook. Hmmm... I will put all those courses of how to read faster out of business when I come up with Eve's How to Read Slower course.

Good day and read well.

Toys of Today

Where there are new toys there on children or at least adults who are like children. Case in point: we just got a tablet PC for the branch. I picked it up yesterday and took it with me to a meeting. I felt like I was 10 with the newest Barbie accessory on the block.
Later I attracted actual children while working a tutorial for the new toy. Cannot be cool kid unless you can actually work the cool toy you have :)

After the meeting, we had dinner out to celebrate a successful event. Overall, most people raved about SDD. Plus it seems that we all have similiar and very quirkly weird senses of humor. Though Carol didn't have a biker date for me, I still had a great time hanging out and talking with the Bahama Mamas i.e. T., P. and myself. I like people I can laugh with. Laughing is an essential part of my day.

Good day and of course I am out of my mind. It's dark and scary in there.

Nada, Rien, Nothing...The Not MEs are running the show

Overall a good day but for me, a bit of a blah day. All the colors of the day seem muted. It is a day where everything goes along much the same as the days preceding. No great worries or joys.

Mainly I am just tired. I work tomorrow and Thursday and then I am off Friday. Work Saturday and not Sunday or Monday. Those kind of weeks leave me feeling a bit disjointed. But it has been a good day for the branch. We definitely felt more busy than normal. I am hoping that it continues on throughout the summer.

Right now I am just ready for a break... some days to stay home and just do nothing. Nike may want me to just do it but I am so not in the mood for that : )

Good day and do you know the muffin man?

Non Serious

I AM a silly and serious person.
I WANT to live and work abroad.
I WISH it was easier to get a work visa in Britain
I HATE getting annoyed at small things.
I MISS my best friend, Marcy who lives way too far away and in too cold a place.
I FEAR becoming jaded.
I HEAR the hum of the air conditioning.
I WONDER what I will be like when I am old.
I REGRET nothing. I hope I learned from it all.
I AM NOT a loud person.
I DANCE while cleaning, while driving, while happy...
I SING quietly.
I CRY at sappy stuff.
I AM NOT ALWAYS awake enough
I MAKE WITH MY HANDS pies and write calligraphy.
I WRITE poetry sometimes when I feel like it.
I CONFUSE everyone even myself.
I NEED to get started on my life.
I SHOULD always put me first.
I START right now.
I FINISH The Stand by Stephen King (again)

*As per stolen from Christielli *

Where did my May go?

We are almost half way through the year. I can not believe it.

We had a lovely Mom's Day. We had lunch at Harpoon Louie's and she got a lot of good presents. We were almost all together (P. couldn't make it because of tire trouble). As I shopped for her presents, I wondered when the Single Girl's Day would be : ) I think I'll just pick a day and demand presents.

This week was a busy one between meetings and trainings and getting sick. I wasn't here on Tuesday. I despise sick days. But it was one I most certainly needed that day.

I applied for a post as a librarian in one of the UN departments. It isn't quite what I am used to but I think it might be a good thing. I'm still looking into other positions as well. I love my job but I want to keep my eyes open. P. is looking into moving back here while I am looking for a way out : P

Good day and I may lose it all but hope.

Happy Mother's Day Mom!

Top Ten Reasons My Mom is Wonderful

10. She puts up with my dad and has for over 30+ years : P
9. She is a very generous person. Even at the times when it seemed we had nothing to share, she found a way.
8. She went back to college after a long spell and finished her degree. I get my smarts from her.
7. She has a beautiful smile and shares it often. We have the same smile.
6. Her lists for Christmas are often short and filled with things she knows we can afford : )
5. She is brave in a lot of different ways. Who else could have face down a tire iron and imaginary lions... long story
4. She loves to read and put up with my long spell of Harlequin romance checkouts.
3. She has a lot of faith and acts on it. She is not a sidelines Christian.
2. She has a wonderful sense of humor. Including a notepad that says "Now I know why rodents eat their young..."
1. Because she is and I love her.

Tonight the minutes seem like hours the hours go s slowly and still the sky is light...

Just a wee bit of West Side Story for ye... I liked the ending better than the normal Romeo and Juliet.

I had a couple of kitty catastrophes yesterday. First, my littlest, Hazel, got her back righ toe tangled in the blind cord. She got caught and kept trying to get away all the while yowling up a storm. But the harder she'd pull, the more it hurt. I had to eventually cut the blinds. While this was going on, Basil kept attacking her. I am guessing to try and get her to stop yelling. Biggums needs to think a bit more : ) I checked her out afterwards and thankfully she didn't seem to have any swelling or limping. It just seemed a bit tender to the touch.

Then I had just gotten her settled, when Henri, my middle guy, slid past the fireplace screen and disappeared into the chimeny. I pushed the screen aside to find him perched on a ledge in the chimney. I had to use a spray bottle to get him out. Of course he was filthy by this point and after pulling him off of the top of the refrigerator, he got a bath. Not a fun experience for either of us. He was pretty good through. He only scratched me once.

I warned them today before I left. No blinds, no fireplaces, no smacking while someone is yowling... or it's no window time for you. They love window time so hopefully the house and cats will all be standing when I get home tonight.

Good day and dogs have masters, cats have staff.

I Try

Most of the time that is my response to anyone who compliments me. I thank them and say "I try". Today was a try harder than most day. Life is an endless succession of trying. This weekend I tried out a new friend. N works in my eye doctor's office and we hung out for the first time this weekend. It was really pretty cool. Yes, we did go to the new library downtown. But I hadn't really had a chance to explore it as someone who goes there and not as someone who works there. She bought her two boys with her and they were boys : ) Trying hard not to like it there but in the end they did.

All in all a very good day. Actually Saturday was good too. P came into town and we had lunch with Mom and Dad. She had to leave early that morning which took me all of thirty minutes to figure out. She woke me up at 4:30 to lock the door. But I am used to her popping in and out. We had a blast going through the DQ drive thru. Somehow she knows just what to say to make me get the giggles. I was afraid to say anything as I was sure to start laughing again. She even wanted me to tell the guy at the window that I was a crackhead. And of course I protested saying No I am not going to tell him I am a crackhead. It was perfectly timed so I said it just as I was pulling up to the window. LMAO.

I also got to drop off a care package for J on Sunday. I had originally got it as a you're going into the hospital package. But as she isn't it became a for the heck of it gift. I like those even better.

So good weekend, bad Monday. Or more bad addittude Monday... Trying to be good can be just that.. trying. It is important to me to keep at it though. One of my favorite quotes is Be the change you want to see in the world. Trust me, the world could stand to be a bit more Eveish.

Good day and you remind me of the babe.

Off tomorrow...

Let the rejoicing begin. This will be my first Saturday off without having to take leave in a year. Temporary insanity is my plea and I'm sticking to it.

Slow day here. But I've got to manage today. It still is so difficult. It is so easy to figure out what I do good and what I need to work on. It becomes more difficult in trying to tell someone else what they need to work on. But I am so proud of me for doing it.

I want to be a good manager. I think I succeed or at least am continuing to learn how to be.

Good day and TGIF for once...

Not a shred of evidence exists in favor of the idea that life is serious

But then again neither am I. Dreadfully condition. I tried it once in 1995 but never again : P I am back at work once again. I am having a very friendly phone morning. Thus far I have had a laugh with a colleague, I have plans for a farewell dinner with a friend and have one of the programming people looking for a guy for me. Triple LOL. It's so strange. I lament sometimes that I feel so alone. But I keep realizing how many people I know and am friends with. I wonder if it is me. I shut people out and then complain about being alone. I am an introvert according to Myers-Briggs but mainly according to me. Which are you? I need time by myself. I recharge that way. But all things in moderation. I need prodding sometimes to get out and interact. I need reminding that they will like me if I just give them a chance to get to know me. I used to carry a construction paper heart in my wallet. I had drawn a crack through the middle and drawn bandaids over the crack. I had written "Handle with Care" and "Kid Gloves Only" on it. I still have the heart. I gave it away once and never got it back. So I made a new one for me to hold onto. It is a bit frayed and bent but still holding itself together fairly well.

Good day and le coeur est la chose la plus forte dans le corps.

Quick Update

My apologies loves about the lack of communication... just a quick update. I am still visiting with P and will be out until tomorrow. Her procedure went fine and it appears that it is hopefully not as serious as thought. She doesn't get her results until the 15th so keep her in your prayers/thoughts/sacrifices to Bast ;)

As for me, I have spent some time researching positions, work permits, and citizenship. There is a possibility I could apply for a Highly Skilled Migrant but it is a bit dear. It would be cheaper to work in Canada : P I also took a look at the out west positions which are definitely a possible. Or going with the DoD which I started submitting my resume for. It looks like either Germany or Japan would be the most likely for an overseas position. I still have to finish my Peace Corp application. I got it done up to the financial bit. But I am certain that this is my year to move or change. Just between the current situation at work and just my own wanderlust. The hardest part will be the missing of family. But I am dedicated to doing this for me.

Let's see what else. I have firmly set my supreme niceness title in stone. I was on my way to work the other day and had to stop at Wallyworld. Just in walking to my car I happen to overhear a guy looking for a jump for his car. I happened to have a car and jumper cables to be able to help him out.... Nice and so modest : P

Good day and Call on God, but row away from the rocks.