What was waiting for me when I came home tonight...

I have been fighting a bad cold this last week. Last Friday I had no voice. And this weekend was no weekend. I spent it all in bed asleep. But tonight when I got home, I had the most lovely surprise waiting for me.

The card is a get well card entitled "Meee-Ouch!"

The note pad has this written above it:

When I Look at You...

I see a remarkable woman with a kind and caring heart who is beautiful in every sense of the word. You are everything wonderful and if I had just one wish it would be that you could see what I see when I look at you.

Thankfully I had tissues galore...

Good night and lucky me!

De-stressed

Mark took me away this last weekend. We headed down to St. Augustine Beach. We had a lovely room with a view of the beach and jacuzzi tub in the room.

Why? Well, after months of pins and needles, we are still open the same hours at the same branch. Somehow the people spoke up and wanted us open. It was humbling how many people came into the library to tell us how we were important. Some signed or created petitions, some contacted the local politicans, some wrote the paper. It was so cool.

It is amazing to me just what an importance libraries have everywhere. I remember being at a meeting recently and hearing about Philadelphia's library system. Basically if they didn't get the budget passed, they were going to close the entire library system. Every branch. Even though I don't live anywhere near there, I responded by contacting the local goverment. I just checked their page. The bill keeping them in business passed 32 to 17.

And yea gods, have we been busy! I secretly laugh when I get the gate count now. The reasoning they gave for us being the ones under the knife was that we weren't being used. I have only been with the system for 7 years this upcoming February. I think that I have been at this branch for maybe going on 3 years. We got a gate counter within that time and when I checked it tonight it was over 266,000 people who have gone and out. Even halfing it, it would be 133,000 people coming in.

And we aren't busy? Yep, that's us... just a bunch of library slackers twittling our thumbs.

Good night and Yay for Libraries!

Limbo

I feel a bit stuck. Although good news appeared on the library front, I am still holding off on an celebrations until knowing for sure. There are still changes on the horizon. I am just not sure how it will affect me.

I want to make plans. But being stuck I can't. It makes me feel a bit frustrated and sad. I rather like moving forward. I feel like a hamster on a wheel. A bit like Bill Murray's character in Groundhog's Day. Nothing changes.

Luckily life with B is always changing. We had a good talk the other night. I like that we are still figuring each other out. I could only go one way down a road before having to pull on a side road to turn around. I was sure that it was a way full of mutant zombies. They were going to pop out of the ground at any moment. Not only could he understand my fear but we started figuring out battle plans and laughing. It is lovely to have someone to laugh with like that. Not only that but the talk we had was about some of my not so laughable fears and he just held me tight and told me it would be all right. That we would figure it out together.

Good night. Guten tag : )

Birthday Weekend

Today was B's birthday. I don't think we really celebrate the number as much as the fact that he was born. We had a low key day at his request. I got to surprise him at Outback with singing and dessert. It was so funny. Thus far he has yet to remember that I do it each year. LOL I had to laugh though as he went to the bathroom before hand. The guys all came out to see and the line stopped as they realized that he was gone. They scrambled back into the kitchen until he came back.

I also surprised him with a singing cat card. The cats meowed the Happy Birthday song. He opened it and the cats came right over. They all wanted to figure out where we were hiding the new cats.

I had a good day Saturday with J and T. We talked for a while and then researched dreams. I had had one interesting one the other day. I dreamed that Dad, Mom, P and I were at Grandmother's. But the house was a one level ranch and located in the Middle East. Then all of sudden the house was attacked by terrorists. They weren't going to hurt me because I was married. I had to show them my ring. Then they gave me some accupunture needles because I had to put the number 26 on my eyeballs so they could film me. At the end as they left, one said "Good bye" and I woke up. B had gone off to do a game with the guys. He said that it had been held in one of the guy's new gaming room. Apparently there was some discussion of turning into the Bat Cave.

Good night and dream on.

Followers

It has been ages since I last posted. My web life recently has been diverted into Facebook. It is a bit like blogging and Myspace. You post a couple of lines of update and then there is other social stuff and games you can do on it.

There is a Mobster game that I play on it now called ... well, Mobsters : ) My handle in that game is Pissed Off Librarian. Right now it is more like Librarian in Limbo. No one knows what is going on with our branch, our patrons, our jobs... hence the limbo. Personally I wish it were the other kind. The kind that involves Jamaica, beaches, a staff and tons of rum.

B and I have been busy getting the apartment ready to show off to the fam over Labor Day. It has been really lovely setting up house with him. LOL Even if he does want everything Star Wars themed. At least my Hello Kitty is contained mostly by my bathroom.

Apparently there is a new gadget for Blogs so that people can follow your blog. I checked. I am a poor prophet. I only have one follower. It is hard for me to be a follower. Especially when I want to do it my way. I am so stubborn. I have had many a discussion with God about that character trait : D It is so hard to let him lead. One of the message I kept from a Happening a long time ago was to Let Go and Let God. I have to stop and focus on that when I get too sure that I can do it all.

Good day and Let Go... : D

Irony

Sometime in the last couple of weeks, I found out that my library's hours were being halfed. The staff would be moved to other branches and the collection reduced. One person who came in and had talked to the local council person said that the council person had been told that no one goes to our library.

Now about 2 or 3 years ago, we had a gate counter installed. Today at around noon, the counter read at a little over 235,000 counts. Which means about 115,000 people walked in and then out again in the last several years. And we aren't being used.

Not to mention I was just notified that I won an award. And so did my branch manager for our work in the community. How weird is that? I mean, I'm thrilled. It is nice to see that someone recognizes that I am awesome but the timing is just plain off.

Weirdness and wonderful in the same day.

Good night and good night.

Why is 6 afraid of 7?

Because 7 8 9.

We've been celebrating the fact that today is 07/08/09. No other reason than a good joke.

We're down to the last couple of boxes. I would have already unpacked them but I need another bookcase. This has caused a bit of a dilema though. B and I have never been very good at putting things together. We are not a "handy" couple by any stretch of the imagination. LOL In fact, the last time we put a bookcase together, it broke into pieces when we tried to carry it out to door. I mean, one minute bookcase and then next I am holding two boards. And the predone ones are majorly expensive. What to do? I figure we'll rotate. It will be like finding new books : P

I know we are both looking forward to exploring the Capital this weekend. I emailed Aunt C and Uncle J and we're hoping to meet up with them, Aunt K and Grandmother too on Sunday. That should be super coolness. I'm still not sure where to meet up with them since we'll be in DC sans transportation.

Good day and good day!

My fort of Boxes

I prayed for the moving guys today. This weekend is supposed to be over 100 here and I am sure that they are working.

We are all moved in. Things were packed and the movers complimented us on how everything was done when they got there. : ) Then it was done. If they have come the day before, it was major chaos. I let B. pack up the office. I was , as normal, trying to do it all by myself. And getting frustrated. That is so hard for me.

I always want to do it all myself. I had to force myself not even to enter the room. Otherwise I would start taking over.

I had to laugh though. We had different priorities on what room should be unpacked first. For him, it was the computer and office setup and for me, it was the kitchen and bathroom : P But we packed together and we unpack together.

Another funny thing has been the dreams. For the first several days, I had weird dreams. One was about eating a chili cheese hotdog. The other was working at a library that was only open from 12:30 to 2:30 and at 2:30 exactly all power was cut off in the building. I had to feel my way out.

And the most peculiar was the one where I was driving with Mom and the power went out. Not just the streets but the cars. We got out to walk and I remember walking past a car with a family inside. When I looked in the car windows, it looked like they lived in it. The look that the little girl inside was just so unbelievable sad. All the cars were stopped all ascew and just ahead of those cars, there were bodies lying all around.

But the last one was the night before's. I dreamed I made the kitties ketchup sandwiches. I am never where my brain comes up with this stuff.

Good night and dream not of ketchup : P

A Sword, Strippers and Children

A couple of nights ago, I came home after dinner with T and asked B. what he thought about the name of Patricia Hazel for a girl's name. Every now and then, we discuss what we would like to name our kids. Patricia Hazel is my current favorite for girl and John Andrew is his current favorite for a boy.

No worries, people. This is not my way of announcing anything. We just have decided to give it a year to work on saving for a house and getting my health all taken care of and then working on kids.

Although after this story, I may change my mind. I have a friend. She is a lovely, sweet woman who thinks of many before her own needs. She came in to work this morning stating that she hadn't gotten any sleep. I was curious so I asked if she wanted to talk about it. She shook her head no. I then asked which daughter was it about. She just grimaced. She has three kids. One daughter lives at home with her and the other in a house that she owns. They are both about my age. Or as someone put it today, old enough to know better but not enough to care....

Well, she got a phone call from the out of the house daughter, N. at 3 or 4 this morning. N. was quite upset. She had just had her car window stabbed with a sword. Yeah. A sword. Apparently she was dropping a friend off and her two other friends were in the backseat. Well, they got to the address. The friend got out as another guy came out of the house. A whole lot of yelling and cussing insued. Then a whole bunch of strippers came out of the house. Yeah, strippers. And the yelling and cussing went up a couple knouches.

Apparently one of the strippers was more than just a little upset or something because she started attacking N's car. She was throwing all sorts of things at it causing all sorts of dents and scratches.

And then she got a sword and tried to put it through the car window. It was actually thrust hard enough to break the glass and put a hole in the window. N called the police and her mom. Well, then N decided the police, who had decided it was a she said she said situation, weren't doing enough. So she decided to yell at them and accuse them of siding with the strippers.

Woa. And all this time she is on the phone with my friend, JC. With all the commotion, JC's husband wakes up. In his Phillipino accent, he begans saying son of beech, son of beech, that's it. These girls are crazy. We are moving to the mountains. JC is half fussed at N and half trying to calm her husband down. The situation finally calmed down and N didn't get arrested thankfully.

Now, I really feel bad for my friend. She really has a great heart. I know she has been really frustrated dealing with her daughters. But I could NOT stop laughing while she is telling me this. At one point, I told her I just can't shake this vision of a Red Sonja stripper stabbing the car.

And they say library workers have a quiet and dull time... just tell me this when did you go to work and get a sword and stripper story?

Good night and watch out for sword carrying strippers.

Stonehenge is now a flower bed path...

I notice things. Some of them because they are out of place in my normal days doings. Some because they are something I see every day and they change.

Saturday, I noticed a man walking down the street. Just an ordinary man. Normal clothes, normal shoes, normal everything but one thing. He has carrying a cross. Not just in his hands or arms. It was over his shoulder. It was taller than he was. My first thought was Pick up your cross and follow me. And then I thought that it was better than Jesus' own. It had wheels on it.

The second thing I noticed was something I drive by regularly. There is a corner on a street near my house. It is a plain ordinary corner. Someone used to plant wild flowers there. They also used to have a bunch of rocks put there. They were just plain rocks, about the size of a good sized book or bigger. I decided it was our own version of Stonehenge. I didn't know how it had been put together. I just enjoyed seeing it. It has been through different formations and for a while recently it had been missing. It eventually got put back up though. But right now it has become a border. A flower bed border... I am sad to see it used so practically.

I really liked that it changed and I never knew if it would still be there or how it would look. The joy was in the not knowing. Perhaps it will change again. Or maybe the joy is in the not knowing but hoping it will be back. I'll just have faith in the unseen and the unknown.

I have faith in the unseen and unknown God. Part of my joy is him is in the learning and the seeing.

Good day and keep your eyes peeled. You'd be amazed at all you see.

L'eau, Aqua and Water

That is what I drink primarily now. I have just finished off my fourth bottle today. Neither my primary or my cardiologist want me drinking much of any thing else.

Today I talked up the summer library programs. It was so much fun. The kids really enjoyed "I ain't gonna Paint No More" book and the My aunt came back song. I never realize how thirsty I am and how much my feet hurt until after the program. I love just doing the stories though. That is my favorite part of the job. The having fun with the kids and talking about and reading books.

I wonder sometimes what has happened to some of the kids that I used to work with. My first internship kids would be graduating either this year or next. How cool is that? This year I've got three people graduating. T. , S. and M. I am very proud of them all : )

Good day and dream big.

Feeling better... finally

I have had a bad congestion for about two weeks. I am finally starting to feel not so fuzzy. I had a lovely day yesterday with J. We headed off to do some shopping at Cato and WallyWorld. It is so funny to me that we have such different tastes but we are pretty much the same size right now. I got some really cute things for work and B liked the pjs I picked out : P

B and I headed out today to see the new Star Trek movie. It was really good and even better was spending time with him. He finally got the info for his business trip in July. I am planning to spend the first weekend with him but he is going to be there for a week. I can't even imagine being here without him. I just love him beyond words.

Tomorrow we plan just to hang here and pack. The three major rooms I hope to get done are the office, kitchen and bedroom. Then that should be most of it. Even though we don't move for a while yet : ) I just like being ready. Plus it gives me time to clear out stuff. I think we will both be ready by time is comes around.

Good night and I love B.

Blast from the Past

I tend to think of myself as quiet and nice. And fun sometimes too. I don't think of myself as memorable.

Yesterday I had a training class and someone recognized me. He was someone I worked with like ten years ago. I have had that happen before. Someone from high school has come into the library. There was another high schooler who came into my children's program with her kids about six years ago.

The longest were the girl who about 5 or 6 years ago remembered me from 3rd grade and the my first grade teacher who was still working as a teacher who I subbed for. Talk about head flip.

It just seems so strange. It makes me wonder what I did that stuck out in someone's head. Especially the teacher. I mean she has had to have seen hundreds if not thousands of kids. What was so special about me? It does make me glad though. I mean, if I had been horrible or mean, maybe they wouldn't have said anything...

Good day and remember when....

Curse it all, I napped!

I can't get to sleep. I had a bad headache when I came home today. So I laid down.

Big mistake. I napped and now when it is time to get to sleep, nothing doing. I mainly can't get my head to shut up. I started thinking about work tomorrow, storytime, Mother's Day, calling sibs.... on and on.

We are waiting to hear the fate of our moving. Supposedly we have a seller for this place and our landlady wanted us to move out as of the 27th of May. But I haven't heard a definite yet. Pins and needles.

We sent our last (?) rent check in with the letter of intent to move on Monday. And we have already done our deposit for the new place. I would like to just know how much packing time I have.

Good night/morning and oh, happy day!

Fostering Reading

I have to teach a class tomorrow on the importance of fostering reading. It is to a bunch of teen moms or moms-to-be. I hope something I say will touch at least one of them or make them think.

I can barely imagine being pregant now much less when I was a teen. I am still on a wait and see as result are being figured out. I meet with my doctor at the end of the month and I need to schedule my follow up with my cardiologist. Once I get a better handle on my health stuff, then we can start figuring out the kids thing.

He would like two. I would like at least one. Everyone just wants us to get started. But it is important to me to have a little time to work on being a wife. The best thing I can give a child is a loving family to come into. Plus a love of books. Both of us read everything we can get our hands on. So hopefully no worries there.

That actually has been the hard part about packing the books up. I have to keep myself from making a pile for myself.

Good night and happy reading.

I wish I could figure out my phone...

I have a newish cell phone. It allegedly can upload pics to the computer and download music. I say allegedly because I have yet to be able to do either. I've taken a number of photos with my phone but that is as far as I have gotten. I have the cable to transfer them and a micro SD card.

But the card won't stay in the phone. That most definitely makes for a hard time in transfer.

Ugh! Two steps forward and three back.

I've been having to wear a heart monitor for the last week and I have to wear it for another two. The monitor part looks like a Blackberry : ) I haven't really felt the same fast heartbeat that I had before since having to wear the monitor.'

: ) I am bad at getting my symptoms to be caught. It is like I feel better when I set up the doctor's appointment : P

Good day and good day.

For a quiet girl I can make the silence loud

I drove quietly home today. I had yelled at B and gotten so mad that I couldn't talk to him. When we got home, I took in the tea and he took in the chicken dinner we had gotten. I put the tea down and went upstairs to the bedroom and shut the door.

I was mad. We had just been visiting J. I had been a bit confusing to him and I was trying to explain why I did what I did. He said that J. hadn't wanted visitors. I said I thought she would rather have someone visit to take her mind off the pain.

I felt like he was reading my sister better than I was. I felt stupid and thought he was accusing me of causing her pain.

He was trying to explain and I told him to shut up.

We don't fight often. And so much of it is me reading into what he is saying. For a reading whiz, I so read him wrong. Partly it is a release. I am stressed about things and I redirect that stress at him to let go of it.

Partly it is I am used to being held at arm's length with things being hidden in my relationships. I am not used to an honest guy. I mean I've had two relationships end by the guy moving away and never talking again to me. That'll do something to a girl.

We talked again after I got up. We kissed and made up. I will always love him even if we fight. I'd rather fight with him then live without him.

Good night and return to your corners....

A little Lupine

So from a feline post to a lupine today. My doc visit went just fine. They don't have a clear picture on the thyroid. So they took more blood to do some more tests.

The reason I am lupine is I have Wolffe-Parkinson-White syndrome. It is something I was born with and it basically means occassionally my electrical system in my heart causes it to beat fast for no reason. The doc is scheduling me to see a special cardiologist which deals with the electrical system of the heart. It isn't fatal and can be treated with with a beta blocker or a nonevasive surgery. I'll know more after my cardiologist visit.

Oh and I medalled today. We had our staff day and I was in two events. The Database Scavenger Hunt and the Brain Bowl. I got gold for both : )

Good day and the beat goes on....

I love kids but....

We went to the Irish Festival today. We had wandered here and there enjoying Irish food, dance and music. To top off the day, I decided to get my face painted. Just some harmless fun... But....we were waiting in the long line of mostly kids and a sparse population of others (teens and adults). It was almost my turn and I had been impressed with the artist. She was doing a great job. All of us were quite excited when it was our turn.

When it was my turn, I got skipped. I got skipped by this kindergardener named Caleb. He had been getting more and more excited, turning around several times to tell his mom that he was getting the Dark Knight face painting. He had been standing right beside me and so when the kid left out the chair in front of me, he hopped right up no hestitation.

And I had to be the mean adult. I had to tell Caleb it wasn't his turn. Then I had to close my eyes to get my face done and listen to Caleb's mom behind me tell him it wasn't wrong and that he would have a turn in a second. But I loved my face painting and I had waited my turn.

I so often give in to kids. In my work as a children's librarian, I get nervous and tired and cranky. But for kids, I put it aside to give them a great storytime. I put a lot of work into crafts that may see 2 or 3 kids show up for. I spend time being a tutor or game player or an adult that just listens.

It was just this time I didn't. I stood up for what I wanted.

Good day and quid pro quo kids!

How am I?

The doctor wanted my blood tested again for the thyroid. We have much to talk about me doc and I. I see her again on Tuesday and I have one more question for her. I am so tired all the time now. I usually nap at least once during the day. And I used to wake up feeling refreshed. Now I just wake up tired.

On another note, we got a Wii. B and I have really been enjoying playing together. The one I think we both like best is the tennis. And it is very much a workout. LOL I almost took out the fan cord though. And I have begun packing and cleaning out. Our lease isn't up until June but I wanted enough time to clean out stuff.

I am really looking forward to moving. The new place seems great. And I have so missed natural light. That was one major drawback to a townhouse.

Good day and let the light shine in.