Changes and chances

Well, now I'm Mrs. Harm. The wedding was unbelievable. It seemed like everyone had a lovely time. And that is really all I wanted. It was just great. We had some minor mishaps like me losing my veil and the song I recorded for B won't play.

But a lovely start to our marriage. I hope it is like our wedding... full of laughs, little tears and much happiness. So far so good. Only 51 weeks and 69 years to go : D

Carnival did such a good job. I think it helped that they had so much experience. I really didn't have much to worry about. At some point I will get the pictures from the disposable cameras scanned in so you all can see.

Apparently we've started on the sickness and health part of the marriage. B has a bit of a cold. I got him like 20 cans of chicken noodle soup so he is all good. While getting the soup, I got approached in the parking lot by a woman. She wanted money. I don't normally do money. So I offered to get her something to eat. I never know exactly how to handle these situations. I want to help but it is so hard to know whether it is helping or not. I went and got her a sandwich, warm sides, fruit cup, chocolate bar and drink. I figure it would be a lot so maybe more than just a meal. I stopped at a store across the way and saw her walking across the lot. No bag. I wondered.

I always feel that my kind intentions are God working through me. Or maybe just God working on me. A masterpiece in the making. I mean the most beautiful statue starts off as a rough block of stone. I figure if I hadn't actually helped, maybe the purpose of it was to set an example for someone else to help.

Good day and be kind.

The Giant Chicken Heart that Ate Cleveland Wedding

The kitties are going to be in the autograph frame which will take the place of a guest book.

Things are almost ready. I started packing the things for the reception last night. At this point, I think that the marriage excites me more than the wedding. Although it is a close second. I have tried not to be too crazy. I have tried not to put too much on any one person. I want this wedding to be like us.... fun and thoughtful.

And I must admit having to save up all that time for my work leave has me very much wanting a break. I ended up taking half days with this horrible cold that seems to have gone on forever. I am ready for a vacation.

But all the trappings aside, I am ready to become a wife. B's wife in fact. I am so excited about this life that we are starting together. I have this incredible joy when being with him. And it is all I could have asked for.

I prayed so often for someone to love me as much as I loved him and for someone to understand me and my every so quirkiness and he does. I always thought God was saying no to my prayers. I should have listened harder. He was saying "Not yet." Amen.

Good night and congrats C. on your daughter, J. I hope your dad feels better soon, M and B, I'll keeping praying,... the things that have been put on hold for joy.

It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness

I know it isn't my norm of ten days later.

I am tapped. I feel like my head is full of sand. Tip me over and you could fill a sandbox.

Right now all I want is to just sing along. Which is funny that is what I did for part of the day. I drove to P.'s. And all I did on the drive was sing along.

I'm itching to travel some more. B and I will travel shortly. A short walk down the aisle and all the way to the Bahamas. : D Plans are coming together fairly nicely. There has been a few hiccups. I was telling a coworker the other day some of the things I have planned. She said that it sounded thoughtful and fun. Which I think describes it pretty well. Describes me pretty well too.

I would ask for many prayers for my friend, Janene. She has had some pretty bad news recently and I just wish her and her family peace and strength. All I can hope for is to trust that the pain will ease and to have faith that God's will be done even in times of sorrow and hurt. Sorry, cry break.... it is wretched being soft hearted sometimes.

Good night and light away!

I love Mark

Guess who was so great this weekend when I was down with this horrible cold?

B!

He has already started taking this "in sickness and health" thing seriously.

I love you, Mark!

(And in case you are confused, B stands for Beloved which stands for Mark. I explained it a long time ago when the whole initial thing got mondo confusing).

Good night and may we all find or have already found our own B.

Not even a half step

Well, we welcomed in 2008 by dog sitting J's dogs and staying overnight at her house. B. got to play his very first game of pool and we had a great time listening to her jukebox. Caesar was so glad to see someone though. He spent the first ten minutes of us being there just racing around the room and around us.

And we missed midnight by like two minutes. Apparently it takes more than two minutes to get champagne open and poured into glasses.


But as lovely as the night was, the bed was beyond horrible. It reminded me of the Princess and the Pea. We just couldn't seem to get comfortable. B. seemed to feel it most of all. It was a lovely comforter and pillows but there were like five billion pillows... okay so it was more like six. But half were beaded and fringed.

So here we are. One month and one day until the wedding. Everyone keeps asking if I am nervous. I wasn't until they started asking. But I think it is going to be a good wedding and an awesome marriage. The half step almost taken... the funny thing is now I am now getting the kids questions too.

Wait a second. I'm not even married yet. I keep telling everyone I want 3 years at least with it just being B and I. I want some time to get used to be married. I certainly didn't rush into the marriage. Why would I rush into kids? I know him as my boyfriend, my finacee. I want to get to know him as my husband before we add more to the mix. I'm still adjusting to have a joint checking account with him. I'm imagining that kids might be an even more interesting adjustment LOL.

Good day and three years, people!

Keep on Pimpin'

As you may know I work with kids. And this week it seems like it was a lot of work with kids. We've had a bunch that come for the afternoon movie and end up staying until we just about close.

Well, one of my co-workers told us yesterday that the kids had been making cards and asked her to hold their stuff while they went in the back with me for crafts.

She said yes and noticed in the midst of their things that they had made a card. It was filled with sweet child sentiments about how much they loved them and wished them happy holidays. She thought it might have been for their mom. It was the final line though that surprised her.

It read..."Happy Holidays and keep on pimpin!"

I about fell on the floor with laughter. That is what I love about working with kids. They are all full of surprises.

Good day and keep on pimpin'. LMAO

Christmas All December Long

I have been busy ordering presents online. So it seems like everyday I go home for lunch, there is a new present on my doorstop.

It doesn't matter if it is for me or not. It just feels like Christmas.

We finally got our house decorations up. Neither of us felt really into decorating the outside though. And B had a great idea. Since we really aren't having Christmas for anyone else, we put the tree in our bedroom.

Here it is with a kitty present already under it.

It's too bad we already have holiday cards....The tree has a mixture of old and new ornaments. It has a collection of ones that I got from my parents that were on my trees growing up. And it has ones that B and I have collected together. Everytime we go somewhere, we get an ornament from that place. I love having that tradition with him.

We also have the tradition now of hitting the dollar store and buying each other stocking gifts. It is so wonderful to have traditions of our own to share.

Good night and joyeux noel.

A New View

I am looking at things in a new way... literally. The monitor that was previously hooked up to this computer wasn't working properly. So after much research and two seperate trips to Wallyworld, B got a new monitor. A flat screen... I then realized we had been inadvertently influenced by D. I believe there was the suggestion of getting a big one for the living room to act as tv and computer. LOL

All in all, a good November. I have resisted Christmas too much. I changed the channel when a Christmas show or song came on. But I have been buying gifts. Online. It is as much fun for me since there are packages to open on my doorstep and I get to savor the idea of someone liking what I got them. The charity donation is still planned just on a smaller scale. It may have to be chickens instead of a cow.

I had planned to give a Cowart cow to my family this Christmas as a donation to Heifer International but I decided to balance both gifts and charity this year.

Oh I got flowers the other day... they really made my day.

They actually came on a day when I had forgotten I had asked for them and it was a really bad day. They made it so much better. And just in case you might have wondered what my cats look like in a bed of flowers... look below.

Good night and Happy December's Eve!

Evil Evil Stickers

So tonight was my night of invites. I typed up all the addresses for the wedding invitations. I wanted them to look nice so I spent at least an hour getting margins just right and font just right.

I get done printing the addresses and so I go to put them together. They are seal and send with a postcard response card. So I carefully put the address on and then I sticker them shut with an adorable cat sticker.

It was just as I finish with the last carefully placed cat sticker that I realize something.....


I had forgotten to put stamps on my response cards which were now sealed with a cute cat sticker. Evil, evil stickers. They were so cute that they made me forget.

So hence I spent the last thirty minutes carefully and sometimes not so carefully peeling back a cute cat sticker. Just so I could stick a $0.26 stamp on all of these response cards.

But that's okay LOL. I also bought way too many stamps. Careful plans for naught.

I am thankful that I can laugh at it and that I am marrying someone who will probably laugh at it too. I love him for that.

Good night and watch out for le chat evil stickers!

An Eden for Eves

So these are a couple of nuts.... LOL I mean they are holding a couple of nuts. Yes, this is Eden. Though better known as Kanapaha Botanical Gardens in Gainesville, FL.

These were pics from T, P and I's visit to the gardens in Gainesville. It was a pretty perfect day. A good road trip, excellent lunch and lovely weather. Plus they have added a cat called Willow. As if it was not a perfect place already. It has now reached sublime.

This has been weird. The shift of a Tuesday that feels like a Monday was just beyond strange. So the volcanes last Friday went over big for the kids. We had a really great time making them erupt. I am so glad that I made the move but I still really miss my staff. I even dreamed about them.

Which is something I am doing more often recently. There was the dream about the kittens trying to get into my house, crawling under doorways and all. Then there was the snake that grew huge and we (D and I) had to get the kids out of this school. Yesterdays was that I went out to MAX and it was deserted. But there was a big red circle around 11/8 (the date) and I woke up trying to figure out what was so important about that date.

Major weirdness. Next week looks to be no different with working only 3 days. Oh but turkey and christmas list to forward to.

Good night and bonne nuit!

One more pic...

Henri looking so dashing... also looking as if he just graduated from KittyU!

All Hallow's Eve

Avast me maties! It be Pirate Eve. Halloween is one of my favorite holidays and this year I got a couple of snaps. The first is at my branch where I got to be a pirate wench for the day. Boy but that eyepatch really screws with your depth perspection. And not only did I get into it this year, but so did the kitties. These were earlier pics of them in costume. The first is Basil doing a lion impression.

Though to me, he looks a bit like he is being eaten by a lion....

And next is Hazel in her fanciest dresswear. Obviously she got into the spiked milk as her tie is just a bit off.

We had a really good time this year. There were a ton and a half of trick or treaters. But seeing as our porch and outside light were out, we didn't get too many coming to the door. So B and I went down to D and H's for some hanging out. It was a lot of fun. I also got to spend some time with Mom and Dad that night. They were out on the lawn handing out their traditional bag o' greaties. I got to show them my costume and then just sit and talk for a bit.

As if I need an excuse to dress up : P

Speaking of dress up, I did that a little last night for D and H's party. They had a one year anniversary and housewarming party. There are just some time when I feel like going all girly. So I wore the little black dress and HK glitter lip gloss (Hello Kitty for the uninformed). It was a great time had by all. And B got to give his presents. I let him pick them out for D and H. And for some odd reason, he feels my family deserves singing spinning animals. It must be the high class taste that we get from Dad coming out in all of us that he recognizes. Oh and in case you were wondering they got a ceramic moose head from the parentals. Just goes to prove my point. LOL

I think it is because his family doesn't really get the weird quirky gifts that he likes to give. So he gets to give them to my family who are weird and quirky... LOL

Today I am heading out to G'ville with T and P. We are going to drop off P and also go visit the Kanapha (sp?) Botancial Gardens. Road trip with cooly peoples are the best. Hence the reason for my early morning bloggeriny.... I was too excited to stay asleep.

Oh well good day and drive safely.

Taking Fifteen

Yes, I am still breathing... sorry it has been so long since my last post.

I love going home for lunch. There is something about that mental break in the middle of the day. I don't know if it is the leftovers or the kitties or just the drive away from the branch. It is just lovely.

I am so happy that I made the move back to childrens and teen. It was like putting a dress in the to-go donate pile and pulling it back out. Such a perfect fit.

I'm still settling into my new routine. But I did remember to keep out the candy bowl: D

And my cat theme for the wedding has been certified by the US Postal Office. I stopped by this morning to pick up postcard stamps and without even asking which kind I wanted, she gave me ones with big cats on them: ) Too funny.

Good night and Meow!

Who knew I had so much stuff...

I have been one busy chick.

This is my last week at the management level. As of next week it is back to children and teen librarian.

It has really been amazing. I've never received so many good things said about me. Everyone seems to want to tell me that they'll miss me and what a great job I did.

I did but I never knew that they noticed. I never noticed how much I put into this job.

Literally how much. I have packed 5 boxes and about 4 crates worth of stuff. I even have furniture to move. It's just a child's seat and a hat tree but it is furniture.

I can't wait to start at children's. The director told me yesterday that she understands that my heart is in children but that she wants me to take a position as children's senior. : )

Even she thinks I'm great...

I never saw it as great work. I just saw it as doing my job to the fullness of my ability. It just happens that I have a great deal of ability. Just not a lot of love for this position. I was afraid that I would stay in because I was good and eventually make myself miserable.

My goal for myself is to be happy. And slowly it comes to me. Just happy.

Oh and so far there is 6 pounds less of me. Go me!

Good day and be happy for you too.

Why do the wrong words seem so right?

I feel like I have been circling and circling just waiting for a place to land.

I just want things to be done. To start the new job, to be married, to be settled.

Instead I live in a holding pattern. A continuous waiting period. Some self inflicted some administration inflicted.

I want it to begin.

But in truth this is good time spent. It is time to say good bye. It is time to learn how much I want to be married to him. It is time to savor one place before moving onto another. It is time to the idea of our plans.

Good night and it is time : ) to publish.

A good day

My fortune says I should keep the ability to see the extraordinary in the ordinary,

Today (thus far) has been a good day. I took a half day for no other reason than I wanted to. The packages I thought were lost were in fact not. I had some good Chinese food for lunch. My house and yard have already been picked and mowed.

I've been trying something new. It's an online food diary called Fit Day. I almost didn't do it today. But I am glad I did. I've been trying to fill it in before eating. Mainly it gives me an idea of how much I eat. By doing it before, I think a little bit more about what I am putting into my body. It's so hard. Especially the nighttime.

But I am trying to be more aware of the urge to just snack. Most of the time, it is because it tastes good and definitely not because I am hungry.

Good day and garbage in garbage out.....

We regret to inform you...

I am having a unique experience. I am transfering from management to childrens and from M've to W'ok. Both places want me.

It is an odd tug of war to be in. I am sad to be leaving and very happy to be coming. I've been trying to find ways to let the patrons here know. I don't want them to just come in and boom! She's gone.

B and I had a late night visitor last night. There is another black kitty hanging around the house. He looks just a bit odd. His head is much bigger than his body. But I think that is because he is so skinny. I am not sure what exactly to do with him. I did feed him and tried to get him in the house. But he squirmed too much and I had to put him back down. He is so sweet and loving. He does happy feet when he eats and when he is being pet. I think with a little socialization he could be a great pet. Any takers?

Good day and pray for T.

Give you one more minute of my time in this mess you left behind

Well, it's offical. I signed the memo today offically asking for a voluntary demotion to librarian.

I am just a muddle of emotions. But I have to do what will make me happy. Life is too short to be unhappy.

I've decided to stop focusing so much on my outward life. There has just been so much going on with P and job stuff. Which has mostly been resolved... she is moving out of here and I am starting my new one on the 15th.

Things have happened that caused me to reevaluate myself. I've decided that stress makes me cry. I cry at the drop of a hat. But it isn't always the right thing for me. It isn't that I am always sad. It is that I don't communicate what I am feeling and attempt to hold it in until I cry. It is an emotional release. But it doesn't truly communicate always how I feel. So I am trying to take a breath when I feel the need to cry and communicate what I am feeling.

The other thing I am working on is my weight and eating right. I tend to eat even when I am not hungry. I am trying to learn what just enough is. I am surprised at how difficult it is. I am also trying to stop and figure what is the reason I am eating if it is not hunger. Plus I am working on adding more exercise into my life. I went walking with H. Sunday night and I'd like to go two more times this week.

Right now I am still considering therapy. I had thought about it before when the first distressing things came out about P. But I am going to try it my way first.

Good day and start here. Go anywhere.

Two Poems

Once upon a time and time again,
Two sisters died a little each day
Name Now.
Upon cursed lips, all evil crossed
Not one’s lips.
She had sewn her rosy buds shut
With a corpse’s thread.
All evil flowed but not out.
It was swallowed within.
With the last snitch of one’s needle,
Her sister’s curse was born.
Sorrow begun to flow
As if some great well spring had been
Hewn in twain.
It shimmered, cascading in pool-like eyes.
Unhappily ever after.





Like a new mortality play sits she.
Willingly strapped into this new old ride.
IT hands her the blade so sharp.
I too am tied with unseen unable to rip my gaze away.
“Hack away.”
Whispers slithers out of grey lips.
“No pain, no pain.”
Hissing promises fill its deadening mouth.
And so stand I on the other side of the glass,
Heart breaking sobs torn for my chest.
Begging for an end, Pleading for her
To shut her ears.
As pieces of you fall to the floor.
Changling girl,
Why listen to pleading when
Whispers seduce?

Weddingland

That is where I have been spending so much of my time recently. I have ordered flowers, an autograph picture frame, bought him a tie, and set up a bridal breakfast with my bridal peoples.

But I only have done all this for two reasons:

1. It has been fun doing all this planning.
2. It gets me that much closer to marrying B.

I just can't wait and yet it seems I still have a million things to do. Invitations are my next big thing. H. has been such a blessing in helping me with these. She has done the custom art and it looks beyond great.

Good day and here comes the bride.