Old and New Halloween

I have always loved dressing up. That was part of why I loved being a children's librarian. It was free rein on the whole dressing up.

I dressed up today. Today, as I sit here in my manager's office, I am a princess. Now most days I am a pretty royal... but there is usually more to the phrase.

I have always heard that they used to dress up to fool the spirits that roamed the earth on All Hlallow's Eve. I think in today's outfit I wouldn't fool any of them. It is a combo of both old and new. I am wearing the new long black braided wig of H, the new circelet of flowers that B. got me, his long tunic, sword belt, pouch and rings. I am also wearing my old sandals, my old velvet dress that the kindergardeners loved and my old fleur-de-le and celtic knot ring.

Old and new is part of so much in our culture. We sang about it in brownies, we work it into our wedding traditions. Old and new...

Okay enough musing for today.. I think we may have found a possible house for renting. Huzzah! We are still going on looking on Saturday though. It will have to be after the wedding. No, peoples, not mine. D's is marrying H on Saturday. And before you start fussing that I should have told you earlier, it wasn't me. I didn't find out until yesterday. So congrats Donald and Helen : ) !!!

Good night and something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue...

Sign that we live in a weird world

I was driving to work on day. I passed an election bulletin board. As I was stuck at a light I read all the way down to the part that starts This message was approved (yada, yada, yada). It was the last name that got me...by the Charles Bronson for Agriculture Comissioner Campaign.

Wait a sec... isn't that the guy with the really mad face, tiny mustache and all his movies have the word Venegence in them? I then had this mental film of him kicking major butt with only vegetables to fight off the bad guys. Shudder....

Good night and hasta la vista baby carrots (okay wrong guy but you get the idea : )

I am a voice yet waiting to be heard....

I have missed jacket weather. I have missed a blanket night. I pulled my winterish clothes out this morning in my search to find something to wear. They are winterish as most people up North would consider this a balmy day : ) However will I survive in a different climate?

But that is a consideration for another day. Today was the day I had hoped to clear off my desk of the abundance of clutter that has attached itself to it. No such luck. I think my piles are having piles. Something to work on tomorrow as well.

I did move one thing off of it though. I was (hopefully) able to track down a contact for a book Dad's is looking to webpublish. My family and friends are becoming a great source of reference questions.

I have always loved puzzles. I often imagine my reference questions being puzzles. Something to solve or track down. I have always loved to figure things out. We're having a Murder Mystery at the Library this weekend. I already got my masking tape dead body outline on the floor. I even got real live police line do not cross tape. I really hope everything goes well with it.

I may stop on my way home and grab a firelog. Heaven knows if the new place will have a fireplace... I love a fire on a cold night, wrapped in a blanket and sipping cocoa....aaaaaahhhhhhh... here's to more cold nights.

Good night and don't kiss an elephant today.

Meanwhile...

Life seems to be settling down just a wee bit here. I just spent the weekend with B. We went to the Professor Plum's Murder Mystery Playhouse for dinner and then Dave & Buster's for lunch the next day. All in all, I had a great weekend. But then weekends with him are always good.

I got mad at him this weekend. But he is getting a crash course in me and I had to explain to him that it isn't always what he thinks is wrong is what is making me mad. It is all a matter of perception. He says something, I interpret it my way and get upset. Upset is not really the right word though. I don't cry and yell or anything like that. I just get quiet and kind of stop talking. But if he asks, I will explain. It is a good thing that we talk about it. It makes the relationship more real I think. More substance. I remember reading once that you are in love with someone because and you love someone although.

He is this amazing wonderful flawed person but that is good because so am I. It is hard to imagine how much my life has changed in the last couple of months. It is still becoming balanced. We won't be seeing each other until Saturday this week. The whole missing seeing him kind of sneaks up on me. I just don't expect it. But then the whole love thing surprises me too. It was not what I was thinking when I agreed to a first date. In truth, I was still fairly afraid of being in love. It was a big risk. But I think of how I feel when he holds me and it makes it worth it.

Good night and smile at the person sitting next to you at the stoplight.

Hunger vs Hungry

I hunger, you hunger, we all hunger. Easy enough to say but it is more complex than that. Every year our library supports a local event called Empty Bowls. And each year I search out statistics to bring home a point about feeding the hungry.

It always awes and horrifies all at the same time. This years' statistic was around the world, every 3.6 seconds someone dies of hunger or hunger related diseases. And it is not just in places that you see in National Geographic. It is here as well. A rich nation but still people go hungry here.

We used to do a day of fasting for World Hunger Day (October 16th) when I was in youth group many moons ago. Now at work, we'll be having a food drive.

Not much but every little bit helps. Which reminds me of one of the things P has talked about doing is getting a tattoo (okay I swear not off subject or out of mind : ). She has wanted to get the phrase "A drop in the ocean". To me, it is a phrase which signifies the strength of the one.

Picture it... The Ocean. Billions upon billions upon billions upon billions... you get the idea... of gallons of water. But it all started with drops, drops of rain, drops of snow melting, just drops. It is beyond amazing the power of just one. I have a quote on my door which reads, "To the world you may be just one person, but to one person you may be the world.". Just something to think on...

and for $19.95 you can received the official Eve speech on CD or cassette. Call now and get a second copy for just 5 cents more. Operators are standing by. Please no CODS just gold and silver : P

Good day and 1,2,3...

To that person

I believe my sister.
I saw the bruises.
I have been around when
you manipulated her
to get what you wanted.
I know that no one in your
entire life loved you
as much as she did.
I believe her.
I feel sorry for you and
that you have to live
for the rest of your life
with what you did.
It was not her fault.
She is not perfect.
You are not perfect.
I believe my sister.
I know how controlling you can be.
No one deserves to be
emotionally, physically
or any other way abused.
It is not her fault.
You need to get some help.
I do not hate you.
I can not judge you.
But this is not right.
I believe my sister.
When will you take responsibility
for your choices?
I was drunk is no excuse.
See what you made me do
is no excuse.
I believe my sister.
One time is one time too many.
Why did you hurt when
you know what it is like be hurt?

A Week and a Half later....

My apologies, bloggers. Life got in the way of blogging : P Needless to say, I have been dealing with a lot. Work, love, moving, abuse... that's just a small sample of what has been going on recently. So how am I? A bit overwhelmed but fine otherwise. I have a good support system. It has just been a lot of changes in a short amount of time. Complete one eighty in the last year.

Thus I am still catching me breath. And I know you thought the heavy breathing was an obscene caller : P

Today was a good slow day at work. I was able to clean out my email just a wee bit more. I was having to spent quite a bit of time here at the circulation desk. But it gave me time to answer some good reference questions (What is citizensship was one of them?) and get my stuff together for my internet basics class on Monday.

Tonight B and I am having a horror movie marathon. He has been one of the big changes this year but oh what a great change he is.... : ) I borrowed several DVDs from the library (It's good to be the king.. manager... whatever) and plan to watch to the wee hours of the morning. A little escapism is a good thing. It's just been so stressful recently. One of the things that I have started doing is going to the gym right down the street from work in the mornings. It is the best gym. Plenty of equipment, helpful people and very few people there in the mornings. I have been going 3 days a week with J, one of my staff. I really love it. It is such a great way to start the morning. We would go more but schedules just don't seem to fit more than 3 days.

Good night and have a pleasant tomorrow (hats off to the Weekend Update SNL crew : )

Can my car count to six?

I got in a little over two and a half hours of beach time in the other day. It was a very needed day. I was having a lot of trouble focusing on work issues and trying desperately not to worry about things the other day. So I slept in, went to breakfast with Dad and J and then ran off to the beach. It wasn't one I had ever visited. I mostly just laid out and read. I was within about a chapter of finishing Taken when the rain came in.

My head seems pretty well put back together. I have also been able to get some resolution with the volunteer situation. She wasn't having a good week either. Her pastor has pancreatic cancer and she have to deal with that news as well. We talked and I am so glad she is back to helping out around here. Please keep her pastor in your prayers and thoughts.

I miss having a church of my own. But I am pretty picky and know what I want in most things... guys, churches, etc. I do want to stick with the Episcopal church. That was one of the best things about being in London is that they all (for the most part) were Church of England churches : )

Short and sweet today.... Good day and remember to hear God laugh all you have to do is make plans : P

Star of the Silent Pictures

I would have made a wonderful actress of the silent pictures. Everything shows on my face. I can not play poker to save my life. Another plus in this role is that I can cry. It is a defense mechanism of mine that I have worked on controlling but not completely. It is a reactionary thing normally. I hate that I can do it so easily.

With everything going on, I was a bit worried about J for most of the day. I knew she was going to pick up her stuff which would be hard enough. But I was also worried about her safety. With all that I have heard from her, I wondered if she would be able to make it safely through the day. I've seen P mentally attack her and also the bruises from when she physically attacked her. But thankfully she got her things and got out of the house safely.

I have decided that I can not judge either of them. I just mainly hate that they are both in such pain. It falls under that whole those without sin casting the first stone in my book. I mainly want to be there for her as much as I can. No one deserves to be deliberately harmed by anyone else. I have been lucky that that hasn't happened in my relationships.

I will be taking tomorrow off. I have decided that a mental health day is in order. It has been a stressful weekend. In order to be there for my friends and family, I need to first be there for me. B. was really wonderful this weekend. Especially considering he was dealing with himself. I thought to myself this morning that because of him, I feel like a completed jigsaw puzzle. Weird analogy but very fitting.

Good night and of course I am special... I have the sticker saying so....