Another fun fourth thursday in November. There was much to be thankful for and much to wish for. As was our tradition, we sat around after dinner writing up our Christmas wish lists. I remember to have Peace on Earth and got at least to the second page. I must be slowing down as normally the list is longer than 30 items. But before you think me a greedy person, remember this is a wish list. There is no limit of what to wish for. But that is for another day.
Today I found myself avoiding the phone. I have 7 or 8 saved messages now. There are two reasons I am avoiding it. One is my moving people have descended. They all want to give me quotes. I don't like people who don't let me do things at my own time. Hence my letting them go to the message box. As much as I want this move to be over and to be settled with B in the new place, I also don't want to move. I can hardly believe how much life has changed in the past months and I am still catching my breath a bit. I imagine it is a bit like cliff diving. Thrilling, exciting and as scary as anything. But that is way anything in life should be.
My other reason for avoiding the phone is that person called today. I had taken the number out of my phone and almost picked it up. That person didn't leave a message. I imagine it was about library materials still checked out as the notices would have gone out last week. But still. I prefer not to think of that person. I wish I could forgive that person. I wish I could pray for goodness for that person. Those were two items left off my wish list. The only thing I can do is pray for strength for me. The strength to forgive...
B says I am the nicest person he has ever met. I don't think so. I wish today I could have spent under the covers and not come out. I feel a bit peopled out right now. I am looking forward to heading home in just a hour and fifteen minutes to the quiet of my apartment. I love you all but go away :)
Good night and to err is human; to forgive divine.
2 comments:
I guess one thing to consider is "why is that person contacting you?" If that person has made an effort to right the wrongs he (or she) has committed (or at least show remorse), then forgiveness should allow you to open up to him (or her).
On the other hand, if there is no show of remorse or correction of speech or behavior, then there is no need to open yourself up to further hurt, no matter how much forgiveness you have cultivated. Remember, its "forgive" not "forget". You don't have to pretend that the person won't hurt if past experience shows that they most likely will.
As a person who knows that person...stay the hell away from psychos...i am...ha-ha. she could have given me the library stuff, but decided to keep it along with all my other things. so i forgive her in therory and hope that one day she will leave us all alone. until then peace on earth for us all. hiding under the covers is sometimes a great survival tool. smile moving forward is always a good thing, just make sure not to take unnecessary baggage with you. ps i read a great thought - love like it won't hurt. easier said than done though. j
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