A good day

My fortune says I should keep the ability to see the extraordinary in the ordinary,

Today (thus far) has been a good day. I took a half day for no other reason than I wanted to. The packages I thought were lost were in fact not. I had some good Chinese food for lunch. My house and yard have already been picked and mowed.

I've been trying something new. It's an online food diary called Fit Day. I almost didn't do it today. But I am glad I did. I've been trying to fill it in before eating. Mainly it gives me an idea of how much I eat. By doing it before, I think a little bit more about what I am putting into my body. It's so hard. Especially the nighttime.

But I am trying to be more aware of the urge to just snack. Most of the time, it is because it tastes good and definitely not because I am hungry.

Good day and garbage in garbage out.....

We regret to inform you...

I am having a unique experience. I am transfering from management to childrens and from M've to W'ok. Both places want me.

It is an odd tug of war to be in. I am sad to be leaving and very happy to be coming. I've been trying to find ways to let the patrons here know. I don't want them to just come in and boom! She's gone.

B and I had a late night visitor last night. There is another black kitty hanging around the house. He looks just a bit odd. His head is much bigger than his body. But I think that is because he is so skinny. I am not sure what exactly to do with him. I did feed him and tried to get him in the house. But he squirmed too much and I had to put him back down. He is so sweet and loving. He does happy feet when he eats and when he is being pet. I think with a little socialization he could be a great pet. Any takers?

Good day and pray for T.

Give you one more minute of my time in this mess you left behind

Well, it's offical. I signed the memo today offically asking for a voluntary demotion to librarian.

I am just a muddle of emotions. But I have to do what will make me happy. Life is too short to be unhappy.

I've decided to stop focusing so much on my outward life. There has just been so much going on with P and job stuff. Which has mostly been resolved... she is moving out of here and I am starting my new one on the 15th.

Things have happened that caused me to reevaluate myself. I've decided that stress makes me cry. I cry at the drop of a hat. But it isn't always the right thing for me. It isn't that I am always sad. It is that I don't communicate what I am feeling and attempt to hold it in until I cry. It is an emotional release. But it doesn't truly communicate always how I feel. So I am trying to take a breath when I feel the need to cry and communicate what I am feeling.

The other thing I am working on is my weight and eating right. I tend to eat even when I am not hungry. I am trying to learn what just enough is. I am surprised at how difficult it is. I am also trying to stop and figure what is the reason I am eating if it is not hunger. Plus I am working on adding more exercise into my life. I went walking with H. Sunday night and I'd like to go two more times this week.

Right now I am still considering therapy. I had thought about it before when the first distressing things came out about P. But I am going to try it my way first.

Good day and start here. Go anywhere.

Two Poems

Once upon a time and time again,
Two sisters died a little each day
Name Now.
Upon cursed lips, all evil crossed
Not one’s lips.
She had sewn her rosy buds shut
With a corpse’s thread.
All evil flowed but not out.
It was swallowed within.
With the last snitch of one’s needle,
Her sister’s curse was born.
Sorrow begun to flow
As if some great well spring had been
Hewn in twain.
It shimmered, cascading in pool-like eyes.
Unhappily ever after.





Like a new mortality play sits she.
Willingly strapped into this new old ride.
IT hands her the blade so sharp.
I too am tied with unseen unable to rip my gaze away.
“Hack away.”
Whispers slithers out of grey lips.
“No pain, no pain.”
Hissing promises fill its deadening mouth.
And so stand I on the other side of the glass,
Heart breaking sobs torn for my chest.
Begging for an end, Pleading for her
To shut her ears.
As pieces of you fall to the floor.
Changling girl,
Why listen to pleading when
Whispers seduce?

Weddingland

That is where I have been spending so much of my time recently. I have ordered flowers, an autograph picture frame, bought him a tie, and set up a bridal breakfast with my bridal peoples.

But I only have done all this for two reasons:

1. It has been fun doing all this planning.
2. It gets me that much closer to marrying B.

I just can't wait and yet it seems I still have a million things to do. Invitations are my next big thing. H. has been such a blessing in helping me with these. She has done the custom art and it looks beyond great.

Good day and here comes the bride.

A question of faith

My faith is a quiet one. I would rather my actions speak of my beliefs than my mouth. I remember thinking of many things along these lines on this mornings drive.



I thought about the Iraselites particularly during the time of Moses. How they had this incredible faith that God would deliver them and he did. I also thought about Moses' mom. We speak often of letting go and letting god but she actually did that in a big way.



Ordinary miracles was something else I pondered. It seems like an oxymoron but it isn't. It is the miracles every day that we miss. They are the ones I think of when I hear about someone thinking about miracles during biblical times. Bringing someone back to life, healing the sick, etc.... it happens everyday. One might blame the technology or the skill of doctors but who gave the skill to the doctor or the idea for that technology.

I remember once several years ago, I didn't believe in God. I couldn't figure out why a lifetime of believing had become disbelief. I prayed that I would believe again, to let me have a mustard seed of faith. That's all I did. My prayer was answered. I still to this day have no idea what took my faith away or what brought it back. To me that was a miracle. An ordinary miracle. The funny thing is that even at a time when I didn't belive I still prayed.

Good day and have faith.