I drove quietly home today. I had yelled at B and gotten so mad that I couldn't talk to him. When we got home, I took in the tea and he took in the chicken dinner we had gotten. I put the tea down and went upstairs to the bedroom and shut the door.
I was mad. We had just been visiting J. I had been a bit confusing to him and I was trying to explain why I did what I did. He said that J. hadn't wanted visitors. I said I thought she would rather have someone visit to take her mind off the pain.
I felt like he was reading my sister better than I was. I felt stupid and thought he was accusing me of causing her pain.
He was trying to explain and I told him to shut up.
We don't fight often. And so much of it is me reading into what he is saying. For a reading whiz, I so read him wrong. Partly it is a release. I am stressed about things and I redirect that stress at him to let go of it.
Partly it is I am used to being held at arm's length with things being hidden in my relationships. I am not used to an honest guy. I mean I've had two relationships end by the guy moving away and never talking again to me. That'll do something to a girl.
We talked again after I got up. We kissed and made up. I will always love him even if we fight. I'd rather fight with him then live without him.
Good night and return to your corners....
1 comment:
Welcome to the world of real marriage.
This is what love is really about, meshing with a totally different person. Becoming one is painful but worth it.
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